My War

My War

The fire raged inside burning my soul

I tried to suppress it to stop it from coming for some reason deep in my soul

My soul did not want this fire to burn.

It did not want this fire to ignite to begin with but the old man gave the fuel

And I ignited it

And now my soul tries to suppress it.

Out of the fog comes a crazed old man

Carrying a cup of blood in his right hand

He was drunk on the blood from war.

“You try to fight it I see, the war inside your soul

It suddenly seemed he sobered up just for me

“You try to suppress it I see, trying to avoid conflict and avoid having to make the choices

Your soul does not want to choose the way it will go

It wants to avoid war

But war is coming no matter if you want it or not.”

He took a huge sip from his cup of blood

“Throughout history war has come to everyone whether they want it or not.

Peace and suppression are just a quick relief, a quick illusion for the powers to prepare for war again.

Countries wage wars that devastate people’s lives and dreams.

We ourselves wage war that devastate our morals, our goals, our desires insides our soul.

With each choice you make, you kill the other side

They each make their plea to you, the small voices you hear are the pleas of the sides in your war.

You must choose the victor, do not delay and let the victor choose you.

Otherwise a burning death will follow.”

And before I could utter another word the old drunk spilled his cup and stumbled back into the shadows

As the fire intensified inside my soul and the war began.

My fire

My Fire

Oh how you started, oh so innocent

My passion my desire, my love

With such a small little spark you started

And that all it took to capture my heart

As I seen that spark, I knew I couldn’t let you go out.

So I kept you, tended to you, let your spark grow into a small flame

A flame that mesmerized me even more than your spark

And so I fed you and let your grow and grow

You brought the life back in my soul the more you grew

Your light grew ever so bright

You protected me from the terrors of the night

You kept me warm from the cold night

You became a beacon for me

Telling the world I am alive

You are my fire you are Flame

You are my passion my only love

And I will never let you go out

I will let you consume me

My Fire

 

Alive

Are you alive

Are you truly alive?

I know you feel alive

I know you think you’re alive

But are you truly alive?

Are you living?

Are you truly happy and living your life to the fullest no matter what happens.

Or are you in a illusion

A dark and thick illusion

An illusion where you continue to feed your life with fake happiness.

Over and over again you have your high moments.

And then the low

You feel so low and in so much pain.

And then you feed yourself with more artificially happiness.

To get through till the next time.

Some people this has gotten through and know they are not alive.

Others don’t even realize they are running on artificial happiness

Because they are so part of the system that the change happens quickly.

But take away the source of their of their happiness

And they succumb quickly to the sorrow

The question is who are you.

Are you truly living?

Do you know you are not living?

Or are you living in an illusion? An illusion that at any moment will be gone and you will be left with nothing more than sorrow?

Which one are you?

Real

Also check out another author with similar writing on facebook highy recommended

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Nakedly-Clothed/694223584025334?fref=ts

Real

I got a taste of something real

All my life I tasted things that were artificial, fake, deceivers of my senses.

It made me happy for a while

All the things I tasted only lasted for a while, and then I desired more and more

Of different flavors, of different colors

I desired something I knew but I did not know what I desired

But then I tasted it, felt it, loved it

It was something real something I could taste, something I felt

Something I loved

And it loved me back for real

No more faking it just for a moment or for a night

It was real and felt like it could last a lifetime

But then it was taken away

I tried to keep it around so I could still taste and feel it.

Yet slowly it faded away, all I could feel was the aroma it left inside.

I tried to forget it.

I went back to the fake things created to bring my sense happiness for a short time.

But in the end all they did was make the hole bigger and bigger for the thing I desired

Something real

Someone who loved me back for real.

Maybe I tasted the real to early

I don’t regret tasting it though

But now all it brings when one of my senses feels it is regret and sorrow

And a desire for it more and more

The realness I felt and tasted that one time

Fire

Fire

In the darkness while lost, I met a flame that was the outline of a man and every five seconds the flame flickered in and out.

“Can you lead me out of this dark despair?” i asked the flame

He reached for me and touched my soul and my insides began to light up and I began to feel the burn from the flames and it hurt, like i was being burned on the inside and then nothing.

The flame died.

“You are not worthy of the light, you have not chosen a side, you refuse still even though you are in so much darkness” He spoke as a old man with authority.

“What are you trying to say?”

“My flame is life, it power, its choice, yet you still refuse it, you let the sorrows of life drown out my flame and run from it, so you are not worthy of any type of light”

“I want to get out of here” I pleaded i was sick of this place.

“Then choose the path you want and breathe life into it, no more running, no more being undecided choose”

“What is the choice I have to choose in this darkness?!”

He began to flicker

“I will give you light again but you must tend to the flame and keep it alit by any means necessary by the choice you stick with”

“What choice?”

“Being a light to people in the darkness or becoming a destructive flame to those who need the help the most”

“What?”

“Most people have a spark and for most that as far as it gets, some it turns into a flame, very few does it actually develop. Most fire die because the person has an identity crisis because they can’t choose between bringing hope or destroying it”

“I know fire represents more than that!” i screamed at him “You lie about fire!”

He chuckled then flicked even more

“Every religion, everything you ever know revolves around fire. In its purest  form it can only do two things, it brings life or it brings death, it can’t do both at the same time, however the flame can always switch sides but you must take a side to begin with. Do you have what it takes to choose now young one?”

He looked at me and I could tell he was growing older with each flicker, I believe this fire was a fire for me telling me to choose.

No more being confused, no more being undecided, it was time for me to choose my life

To take the lessons learned from the past and use them to shape my future so my flame can become death and destruction destroying others or casting other hopes in the shadow of my flames.

Or

To look no more in the past but shape my flame to be pure, a fresh start to my future, a beacon of hope letting others know they can escape the darkness like i did

He gave me the light and it stirred in my soul, I could feel the pain searing all inside me but I was determined to let it burn, to finally make a choice

Right or wrong

I was escaping this darkness.

The old man smiled as he faded in a darkness my flames can never lite because even the brightest flame of life or death can’t touch everything in the beyond.

Dreams are an illusion

Dreaming an illusion

Dreams dreams dreams….

So many people talk about dreams yet they know only the good of dreams

Not the nightmare or night terrors that lay in the shadows of our failures

All you hear from people is all positive about dreams

Go for your dreams.

Dream big and bright

Follow those dreams.’

Don’t let anyone stop you from achieving your dreams.

Dream as if you will live forever.

Yet what is a dream.

A dream is a illusion you strive for, a distraction from reality.

And once you become too distracted or embroiled in the illusion it becomes a nightmare or worse.

Once your dream becomes a nightmare, you are no longer in control

It will haunt you every day and night

By the failures of yourself

However..

A nightmare is only a reality check to wake you up before the real storm comes.

And there are three things that can happen.

You can either continue to strive for your huge insurmountable dreams the same way you do and odds are the failures will continue to turn into more and more nightmare until they either become unbearable or you break through

Or you can focus on reality, dream small and continue to build on momentum on those achieved dreams blocking out all the nightmares by small gains.

Or the third option you have been dreaming in an illusion for so long that the wake up to reality is the death of you

As in my case

Its alright

Its alright

I watched slowly the disease eat her skin, I could see it slowly turning her skin into a cold decaying grey of death.

She was bitten right on the ankle by the grey child I shot in the head but didn’t sever the brain from the body.

It was my fault, I didn’t check if I killed and now there is no hope her.

“My fault” I began to hear  the demons in my head speak to me but I ignored them.

“It’s alright” I said to her in a softly voice trying to comfort her from reality “I’ts alright to let go it will be easier on you, don’t make your brainwaves make the nano-nites fight”

I could see the grayscale of death crawl up her leg and she was still trying to resist it, but I knew she wasn’t strong enough too.

“I don’t want to die” she pleaded “Please don’t let me die and turn into one of his grey children! Chop off the disease with the hatchet!?” she point to the hatchet.

“You know there is no chance that will work, once the grey appears it spreads and there is no stopping it. So please just stop resisting and let it take over.” I said sorrowfully but firmly trying to make her realize it’s her time

“No, I won’t” She then screamed in pain as the painful part of the process of the turn began.

First you barely feel anything as the virus infects the area of infection whether by bite or other means.

Second it spreads up toward the brain and that’s when the nano-nites begin to fight it. The virus converts the nano-nites and it feels as if a thousand needles are piercing your soul.

I felt bad for her, and I knew if I did not kill her now, the other grey children would hear her screams and surround the island shack

Yet I couldn’t bring myself to put her out of her misery.

“Coward” the demons in my head tried to speak again but I blocked them out.

She screamed yet again as it now consumed both her legs and was now working its way up her waist.

“Give up please and stop resisting” I said in a demanding voice “Let your mind go, embrace the pain and let go it’s over, the only thing you are going to do is attract more of them for me!”

“Then kill me please!” her words were barely decipherable from her screams.

I reloaded my gun but I knew it was to no avail my life is just doomed as her because I refused to kill her. This girl I just met on this damned island after getting separated from my group is going to be the end of me.

I am not savage enough to survive

“Weakling” The demons voice in my head began to stick in my head the more i heard her screams.

I could hear their steps as they now had their sense set on the shack we were in.

Her screams began to grow dimmer.

I looked at her one last time as the grey death was traveling up her throat and silenced her voice box, all you could see was the pain and sorrow in her eyes.

It only took 10 seconds for the gray to go from her throat to her eyes but those were the longest 10 seconds of my life, as I watched her eyes.

I watch the innocence of life give it last plea before the grey took it over and turned it into darkness.

She was gone; the light of life in her eyes became the grey of death.

I grabbed the hatchet next to me and aimed right for her neck.

I swung and it made a sickening cutting noise and only went a quarter through the neck. I knew I had limited amount of time before she awoke again as one of them.

I swung again and again in a fury as the pounding of the children  outside got louder, they smelled and sensed me fully now.

I watched her eyes dilate with greyness of death as I mustered the last of my strength and finally separated the head from the body.

The head rolled over and hit the shack wall

It was done but I knew I should have killed her when she had life before the pain became unbearable for her.

“You have always made mistakes, so many mistakes.” the demons began to be more audible

No I can’t think like that I thought but the voices took over

“Your life is a big mistake and you know it, you tried to fit in but you always were left out of everything from parties, to women you were always an outcast to everyone, no one liked you not even your family, remember that family reunion when they tol-“

“Shut up” I screamed in the air like a madman yet the demons in my head continued

“Your worthless, remember Marcy, the only girl you have ever had, how you let her go and then you killed her in a car wreck, do you remember how once again you didn’t double check and that truck rammed your car into the ditch. Even then you still had the chance to save her if only you could have stopped the bleeding but yet again you panic and forget the countless medical classes you have had informing you how to stop it yet you let her die.”

“Shut up” I screamed again and as if right on the shacks walls begin to crack, from the children pounding on it.

Judgement day for my mistakes has come.

“It’s alright to give up isn’t it, just like you told that one girl who died because of your mistake” My mind was beginning to agree with the demons in my head.

I knew it was the end.

I looked at the gun, it begun to have a glow, it began to look like freedom.

Freedom from the pain of life and from all my fuckups that I have done

“I should of done this years ago maybe Marcy and this chick would still be alive” I thought or maybe it was the demons. I couldn’t tell anymore the difference between my thoughts and the voices in my head now.

My demons and my thoughts were now in unity.

I brought the gun up and placed the barrel in my mouth facing up at an angle to make sure I sever the spine that connects the head to the body.

I looked straight ahead and watched one of their arms finally break through the shack wall.

“It’s alright now to kill yourself I knew you were always thinking about it all those years, the years when you never fit in and always felt like an outcast, yet you never had the courage to, but now is your chance to make things right, a right reason to do this”

I watched as he clawed away more and more of the wall and finally they broke through.

The grey child looked like Marcy like a dead grey replica of her. Black hair and a beauty that could never be matched to me. Time seemed to slow as she slowly walked through the wall and into the shack getting so close and bending down ready to bite me.

I could see the yellow tinge on her teeth as she slowly brought her mouth towards my skin.

“I’m sorry.”

I heard the voice of Marcy as if this she spoke to me  “It’s alright”

I pulled the trigger.

Teaser for book The sea has no graves

 A teaser for a New book i am working on and hope to availible to download digitally before the end of the year more info to come.

Rich 6am

I could hear the base sirens blaring, just like they did when we were in basic training. Why the fuck are they going off I thought as I tried to stand up and I immediately fell over as it felt like all the blood drained from my head.

I thought I heard growling or something but I figured it was just me imagining things due to this hangover.

And this blaring military tune isn’t making it any better I thought as I tried to stand up again with more success as it stopped.

“Good morning ladies and gents that are alive and not infected this is commander O’Neill speaking”

Infected, what is he talking about.

“In your drinks last night was a experimental virus or more like biologically weapon we designed and wanted to test on people with the nana nite enhancement which is you soldiers and people without which is the civilians your brought along”

What the fuck is he saying

“Basically at this moment if you can get up you are not infected and are immune to the virus through indigestion, congratulations you have just avoided probably the easiest death on the island to die in your sleep.”

I began to get my senses back the more he talked and I was trying to figure out if this was real or all in my head.

“To the living you are now in danger as the people who are infected, have been turned into my 3^rd generation children and will promptly attack you on site. You may call these things zombies but they are called children because they are way smarter than zombies, more enhanced. The 1^st generation we has of these were considered zombies, the 2^nd was a mix but this generation is nearly perfected thanks to nanonite enhancement they are my children.”

That growing began to ring more in my head.

“They are smarter, faster, and they can’t die by just shooting them in the head. Imagine if we infected city’s water supply of one of our enemies. The people would just kill each other and there would be no punishment on us, in a single year we could take our all of our enemies with this, what you have tested on this island today.”

I turned toward the growling to my horror.

“So be proud, you have gave us the biological weapon that will destroy our enemies and bring us peace, congratulate yourself and fight and die in honor, you will all be remembered as heroes”

Ryan was eating his girlfriend’s face off

“I hope all the living woke up and heard my message because my children are definitely up and they are famished, you know getting the virus in there body takes a lot out of them but in all actuality the hunger they are going to charge you with is an illusion because there degeneration is very slow because of the nano-nite enhancement, they could last an average of 2 years before showing any signs of wear and tear”

Ryan rose and stared at me, I could see no life in his eyes I knew he was one of the so called children now.

I slowly reached down and grabbed the glass bottle on the ground as he stared at me.

He then gave a screeching scream and charged as I was off balance and tackled me as my left hand held him away from my body, my right hand bashed the glass bottle into his head.

It knocked him off me and I quickly got up and got on top of him and began bashing his head in again over and over until his whole head was nothing but brains and pulp.

I killed another person I knew again for the 3^rd time in 3 weeks on purpose.

I was trying to take everything in but then I heard his girlfriend rise behind me.

 

This is the alpha version of The sea has no grave

The book does not represent no one or county in real life

Copyrighted by Dzgword316

Teaser for a possible future project (very rough form)

Crash

You could hear the window shatter and the glass hitting the cold brick floor.

“Their coming” The child whispered whimpering with fear, afraid he would be returned to them.

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you just stay here, think about your mother”

“But mother..” he said shivering

“Stay here everything will be all right child” I said as I set him down and walked down the hallway.

The floor creaked

You could hear the sound of someone stepping on the glass as they entered the house.

“ Listen no one has to get hurt here Adam, just turn yourself in and hand over the child” I heard him yell down the hallway.

“Fuck you , you sick bastards, is all you care about is money. Do you not care what they will do to that child!” I screamed in rage trying to figure his logic for doing.

“I don’t need to answer to you, i only answer death, what i die!”

Click

I realized what it was right as the flash bang land in front of me. The light was blinding but I had my bearing still and managed to stumble in a door way as I heard the sound of numerous men entering thought the broken window.

“Kill Adam, but be sure to take the boy alive; he is our future”

I readied my gun as my vision came back to normal colors.

Creak.

I turned around the corner and let off a few rounds, seeing the effect instantaneously as he slumped down dead. His companion noticed immediately and returned fire as I slid back around the corner.

“Don’t fire so carelessly you fools! what happens if you hit the child!”

Dumbass I thought, the only way your taking me down is to come hard and fast you have the numbers and do you really think i would put the child in harms ways.

I advanced on them when i heard those words,

The words of fear,

When it’s life or death

There can be no fear

There is only life and death

If there fear, death is your result

I glided through the air aiming and picking off the thugs one by one, they fired but always so late as the bullets grazed passed me in slow motion. I was high again, the nano nites enhancements have made me high, i knew once again i would be addicted to it, after so long of being good and controlling my urges, i’m back at it again.

Killing for the high

“Retreat” some soldier screamed as I fired the bullet hitting him in the right eye; blood gushing all over the wall, but surprisingly he was still alive as I approached him.

“Please don’t kill me; I was forced to do this” he was pleading for his life “I had no choice, they would of killed my family, please sir, I just following order” I could see the tears in his good eye and the blood running in the hole in his head.

It brought me pain and disgust seeing this man begging for his life, but i thought to justify what i was about to,

The worlds are cruel

I thought as I brought the gun up and put it to his head.

“Please!” A completely broken man was before me, and I had the option to end his life or let him live. A power that I have; not god, not any demons or angel, not any man but me who has the power over this man life.  A power that man loves and strives for yet despises somewhere deed down, and with each life he takes a part of him dies.

I pulled the trigger and the man no more pleaded pointlessly

 

The house looked and the outside looked clear as I checked again. It was time again to move and to move quickly as I ran to go get the child. A child who wasn’t even given a name but a number; a child who never knew his mother nor his father, He was just given fake memories of a false life of happiness just him to keep his brain waves steady so the experiments could continue.

He was curled up in a ball asleep; probably cried himself to sleep when the fighting was going I thought as I picked him up and carried him.

He stirred a little, and then I heard him whisper in the most innocent voice,” Why are the bad men after me so bad, i’m not special”

“Because kid you are the good guy and you are very special to a lot of people. You just don’t realize it yet.”

“What about you, aren’t you special or a good guy?”

I was speechless and couldn’t even answer before the child fell back to sleep.

Am I good or am I evil, or is there even such thing as good and evil in this world or others I thought as I walked across this desolated road towards the rising sun.

The Rope

The Rope

I gasp awake, in a pool of my own sweat, it felt as if I was burning.

My breathing uncontrolled in a panic as I awake to sounds of anguish

“Hello” I scream but my response is only met with the scream of others

I begin to awaken more and I realize it’s dark. Not like a normal darkness but like darkness that has no end as if light has never hit this place.

I try to sit up too fast and I crack open my skull on the concrete wall only inches above my head. The blood runs straight down from my forehead, down the middle on my nose and finally into my mouth.

I have tasted my blood many times before in my line of work but my blood tasted different this time, it tasted more salty, with more disgust. When I usually taste my blood it drives me to put my fist into the skull of the damn person who made me bleed but this time it was me that caused my own bleeding.

I began to try to feel around with my arms and legs I raised my fist to see how high the wall above me was, I guess about 5 inches just enough room for me to fit under but not to move around, It reminded me of a crawlspace under a house.

If I only had a couple more inches upward I thought I could move because all on my sides was nothing but open space yet beyond the open space was the sound of screams.

And with each passing second the screams became louder as if they were getting closer to me so i could here there suffering.

I had to get out of here I thought as I tried to scoot backwards but as I soon as moved my leg I felt a tug, like something was attached to my ankle.

I had to know what it was I thought, this is going to be painful

I slowly scrunched myself forward stretching out my arms and feeling what was on my ankle.

It was a rope, a simple rope was holding on my ankle.

I have never been bound by a simple rope in my life, I thought as I again made a lunge back against the rope.

Yet the rope was unmoved.

It began to tear into my ankle the more I moved back with my hands keeping my body level to try to break it to no avail. Not enough room.

I began to feel a pool of something right at the rope; I could not tell at this point whether it was blood or sweat.

It didn’t matter, I had to keep trying to move even if I lose my leg, I have to get out of here I thought as I struggled more.

The screams, I could hear them more clearly the more I struggled, they were actually saying words,

“Why am I here?!”

“What did I do to deserve this?!”

I tried to block it out and focus on just trying to move even an inch I just wanted to make some progress, yet no matter how i struggled the rope still bound me to the same spot.

I was sure now that the rope dug at least into my muscle, I could feel its lethal grip upon ankle.

The screams again were becoming louder and louder except now I made out more phrases

“I deserve this I admit my sin.”  

“I have done horrible things, please end this”

They were becoming more and more morbid but the phrase that stuck out the most

  “Confess before the man returns or you’ll all be sorry. ”

It had a more mono tone compared to the other screams and it made me shiver. Yet my ankle was numb now and I could feel the rope as it if it was getting tighter with each passing second as if the rope was alive and wanted to bind me even more.

I begin to think about the screams I continued to hear.

I did not deserve this, I may have done things, things that I only know and that if other people knew about, they would consider me a monster, probably say I deserve something worse than whatever this is. What I have done is on the victims’ soul though I just performed what was required.

Karma is a bitch and I am her executioner.

Any punishment I deserve should be done by the victims’ families; I want to see the horror in their eyes when they finally get their hands on me and I confess all the things their little precious angels have done, which is always worse than what I ended up doing them.

Yes I killed, but those victims got off easy compared to my other victims.

I have tortured people, I have erased some people existence from this world, I even made one of my victims become a victim of his own sick twisted sexual game he was playing with other people.

All the people I have punished deserved what i have done to them. I hated them all with a passion and I was not alone.

I made the world a better place.

I work for Karma and Karma is a bitch and I am the executioner, the one that brings judgement down for her.

“I should not be here” I screamed I sounded just like all the other people screaming in this place. It was pointless I’m probably just going to go mad by the screaming before I finally die by lack of food or water.

The screams all of a sudden began to die down then I heard 3 very clear screams and then silence

The 1^st Scream: “We all deserve this no mercy shall be bestowed upon us unless you confess” it was the sound of a woman, her voice sounded like as if she has given up, on everything. I wasn’t going to that, never i am a man that will never surrender.

The 2^nd Scream: “Confess your sins, you will have a quick death, a death less brutal than what he has in store for you, confess quickly for he comes!” This one had a deep mono voice, the same as the one that said confess in the first place. He sounded as one of those madmen prophets that always say the end is nigh to everyone in San Fran.

The 3^rd Scream, disturbed me all the way down to my soul: Clear your soul of burdens,  He is here, don’t resist the pull of the rope, embrace it, your  flesh will feed them and make them stronger.” It was simple voice of a child, so pure and innocent but with such a dire tone

What was she talking about I wondered and then I felt a little nudge on my ankle.

All of a sudden everyone around me erupted in screams.

“I will not feed those monster”

“You will not take me!”

I heard so many phrases like that as I felt the rope tighten and began to slowly drag me.

I tried to dig my fingers into the ground but it was concrete.

I tried to twist my body and break my ankle off from this room.

The pain was unbearable as I broke and cracked my ankle

I screamed in anguish and tried to twist more to escape the tug of the rope.

But all I did was cause myself more suffering, as the rope never lost its grip and dragged me at a faster pace in the darkness.

All the screams intensified more and more

“Save us”

“Mercy”

I did not scream anymore though

I will face whatever is dragging me

I will let the rope decide the fate

Of the executioner of Karma.